I planned on leaving Vang Vieng yesterday morning. I had learned in the days prior that my options for traveling North to Luang Prabang were via "minibus" (van) for ~105,000 kip (for reference 8500 kip = $1) at 9:00am to arrive at 3:00; "VIP" bus (I guess just a cushier bus than normal) for ~95,000 kip at 10:00am to arrive at 5:00; or a local "express" bus for which no one could either tell me the price or time of departure (I chalked this up to them wanting me to pay for the pricier tourist buses). I decided I'd just foot the extra cash and go for the minibus, since I'd heard the road was a bit rough to Luang Prabang. So at about 8:30 I walked to where I had seen a place advertising and asked about buying a ticket. Sold out. Damn.
After finding out that it was sold out, the friendly woman I was dealing with said that she actually had a friend who'd been chartered to drive some tourists down from Luang Prabang to Vang Vieng the day before, and he'd be willing to take me back there (since he had to return anyway) at 2:00pm for 85,000 kip. Well that sounded just perfect to me, since there actually was still about a half-day's worth of site-seeing I was interested in doing in Vang Vieng. I left my backpack with her and told her I'd return then. Perfect.
I rented a bicycle and headed out of town toward some caves I had heard were worth visiting. It was about an 8km ride on a bicycle that was comically too small for me (and uncomfortably upright compared to the road bikes I'm accustomed to), but the scenery made it endurable. Rice patties spread out to the West of me in green terraces for about a kilometer until the butted up against jagged, green-studded limestone cliffs. Otherworldly. I found a sign for some caves and turned off the road, riding through the fields until I crossed the river and came under the cliffs. Ditched the bike and spent about an hour wandering (more like scrambling and crawling) around alone in a cave... alternately turning off my flashlight in order to freak myself out about the total darkness and near-total silence of a deep empty cave.
On my way out, I ran into a couple other tourists who told me a charming story of a Canadian gentleman who, in 2003, had decided he would be the first person to ever reach the end of one of the caves nearby (NOT the one I was in) and made it a fair way back before his flashlight batteries died. His body was found a week later only 4km from the cave entrance... still no one knows how deep the cave actually is! Creeeeeeepy.
After some lunch I headed back to catch my personal minibus to Luang Prabang. For no definable reason, I started getting a bit anxious as I cycled back...
When I arrived at the travel agency (I guess you could call it that) at 1:30, the lady happily called her friend to check up with him. I may not speak Lao, but I guess I've been around it enough now to recognize when a conversation is not going well.
She hung up the phone and said "Um, he says it will be about 4:30 or 5:00."
"What?!"
"Someone accidentally took his car key with them to Vientiane" [3 hours south of Vang Vieng]
"WHAT?! But if I leave at 5:00, that means I won't arrive in Luang Prabang until midnight! And then I have t find a place to stay!"
This is the first time in the day I almost lose my nerve.
"Yes... this is bad" I could tell she really did feel bad, "I think it's best if I take you to the bus terminal and maybe there is a local ("express") bus that is coming soon"
"Thank you, that'd be very nice"
To the bus terminal we go. Where we learn that the next bus is at 4:00.
The lady looks really apologetic but suggests that the terminal attendant guy should be able to call a hostel in Luang Prabang and arrange a room for me, with pickup from the terminal there. Ok, good! She leaves.
I go ask the gentleman there if he can do this and he asks if I have a phone number for one... he doesn't know any. I dig around in my guidebook and find a few and he dials them for me. No rooms. Hoping for at least an empathetic smile from the bus guy, I say/sign to him that there are no rooms anywhere. He tells me I owe him 5000 kip for the phone.
This is the second time I almost lose my nerve.
Faaaaaaantastic. Fine, whatever. I'll just sit in this damn terminal until 4, and deal with finding a room when I get there.
4:00 comes, and goes. I ask when the bus will come. "Maybe 4:30".
4:30 comes, and goes. "Maybe between 4:30 and 5".
5:00 comes, and goes. A bus with "Vientiane - Luang Prabang" drives by. UH OH.
"Was that my bus?"
"What bus?"
"That bus that just drove by that said Luang Prabang."
"A bus just drove by that said Luang Prabang?"
You have got to be kidding me.
"I don't think it actually said Luang Prabang."
"I saw it. It said Luang Prabang!"
he shouts to some lady standing down by the road and says something about Luang Prabang. She shrugs and shouts something back.
"No, that one was going to Pho Savahn."
"Then when does the bus come for Luang Prabang?!?"
He consults some of the other guys standing around.
"Maybe 7"
This time I really really REALLY almost lose my nerve.
I could tell he felt sorry but didn't know what to do. He talked to some of the other people, but just kept saying "there is no other bus until 7:00, I'm sorry!"
And then a bus pulled up and stopped... and holy crap it's going to Luang Prabang! I damn near flew onto that bus for fear it would leave without me.
I was just settling in for the long ride when I was reminded of one consistent feature of bus rides in Southeast Asia: every driver seems to be convinced that what his passengers are really truly desiring, no matter what the hour, is Lao karaoke videos to be played at ear-shattering volume. Oh hell. Here I'm just about starting to get my nerves in order and I've got to compete with the immortal trifecta of drum machine, synthesizer and off-key (to my at this point culturally insensitive ear) whine-shrieking. With accompanying video. I put my headphones in, wrap a scarf tight around my head and blast my own music at unhealthy volume just to try to find a little bit of peace (by listening to metal... I know Matt can understand this at least). I fight the karaoke for about 4 hours before I finally give up, take my headphones off and try to just let the music fade into the background. But sure enough, just as soon as it starts to become (deafening) white-noise, some great musical-taste conflict must break out at the front of the bus because for the next 3 hours, the driver/DJ can't settle on any one song for more than about 30 seconds.
This is the fourth time I almost lose my nerve.
Finally, somehow, I doze off for a few minutes before being shaken awake and told I'm in Luang Prabang. I stumble off the bus and find myself on the outskirts of an unfamiliar town at 12:30. I tuk-tuk into the center of town and start walking street by street, looking for any hostel with a light on and without a "Full" sign posted on the gate. I'm just about at the point of eyeing some park benches when a couple guys pull up on a scooter and ask what I'm looking for. I communicate that I need to find a room, and they offer to drive me to somewhere with space. Oh thank God! I hop on (yes, we are now 3 on a scooter, plus my gigantic backpack... extra safe) for about a minute's ride to another part of town. He drops me off and I go in and YES! they have a room! I thank the moto driver profusely for being so friendly... and he tells me I owe him 20000 kip.
This is the fifth and final time I just about lose it.
With the hostel receptionist guy translating, I tell him how messed up this is, how he should really communicate this kind of stuff BEFOREhand, how I paid less than that for the several-kilometer tuk tuk ride into town, how I'm just about ready to remove his head from his body, and how fine I'll pay him 10,000 just because I'm so damn tired I can't handle this crap anymore.
I feel much better today! I think I'll go wander around this UNESCO World Heritage City (or whatever they call it) for a bit, then maybe arrange an overnight trek to stay in a local village tomorrow.
And here are some pretty pretty pictures of pretty pretty Vang Vieng taken with a phone.
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